Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
