i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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