i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
