Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
whose ass print is on the piano?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
