She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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