I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
