singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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