I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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