She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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