he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
