okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
