Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
