I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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