Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
