Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
