I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I made him laugh his dick is mine
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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