Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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