Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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