I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
