whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
