we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
