another moral hangover. fuck.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
