Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
