New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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