His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
