What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
