all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
