you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
His nipple licking is glorious
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