I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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