We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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