he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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