If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize