Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
