i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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