alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
