im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I look better un-naked...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
