Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
