Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
