Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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