The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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