new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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