big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize