Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
