you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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