Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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