Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
