your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize