I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
