he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
