Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
