i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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