Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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