which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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