I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
