I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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