Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
