You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
