wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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