If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
